Well Common Sense Warriors, it's a quarter to stupid hour down here in the Butte, but Ol' Vic is just reeling from the implications of Big Jason's Minimum Wage Expert Panel report, released in a verrrry timely way by Big Danielle this week. So I'll throw a few thoughts down here on the ol' Palm Pilot before Rudy closes up shop and kicks us all out into the street.
1) ONLY a UCP government will make you feel younger:
"First, given that it was younger workers who disproportionately bore the brunt of job losses due to the 2015-2018 minimum wage increases, it may make sense for the Government of Alberta to explore extensions to the “job creation student wage” that came into effect in June 2019.
One suggestion, for example, would be to expand this differentiated wage beyond the current age cut-off (of 18 years old) and/or loosen restrictions to schooling or hours worked."
Tired of those aches and pains and general sense that music has become weird and confusing? Well your problems are solved, because you now qualify for the Student Wage, because we raised the eligibility to 65, you lovable tikes, you.
2) CERTAINTY! You know who likes certainty? Bolsheviks, that's who! You ever look at the fun roller coaster of oil prices and think "boy oh boy I wish my wages could be slashed by geopolitical forces beyond my ken"? Well we hear you:
" the fact remains that Alberta’s economy is still quite resource-based and, as such, is vulnerable to boom and bust cycles. As Albertans, we have witnessed that economic conditions in the province can change very quickly. The existence of a downturn clause would help ensure changes in Alberta’s minimum wages remain tied to and reflect the evolution of the broader economy"
When the price of oil drops, so will your wages! No point in being jobless without being broke at the same time!
3) In Alberta, we can always go lower than the minimum: "some studies suggest that minimum wages are optimally set at between 40 percent and 45 percent of average annual wages.)"
So while you are earning minimum wage at all eight continuing care homes you work at, remember that there are Extra Special Albertans who we have determined get to make _less than minimum_! The #UCP: We fight for you to be rock bottom!
4) You can trust The Boss! "For example, 86 per cent of respondents to a Restaurants Canada payroll survey indicated they “definitely”, “probably” or “very probably” would increase the number of shifts per week for food and beverage servers in response to the re-introduction of a liquor server wage. Almost threein-ten (29%) indicated they “definitely” would do this."
In an unrelated study, 86% of Foxes indicated that they would absolutely totally eat fewer chickens if there were fewer fences on farms. And would they lie to you? NO.
5) You're bad at math. And while you got paid less in the olden days when your income depended on whether your guests' dates went well, it's good to know, servers and bartenders, that you totally earned more. As your paycheque rises, what you are worth goes down. It's called Economics, according to Restaurants Canada:
"The elimination of the liquor server wage led to changes in human resources that may have harmed liquor servers’ overall earnings."
IN FACT, your hours went down by 1.2%!! And was a lousy 50% pay increase supposed to make up for that?? Fwah FWAH I SAY
6) Shut your whine holes! While our report indicates that "Actual recorded gratuity data from point-of-sale system credit card tips at 351 liquor-licensed Alberta restaurant establishments indicates that the average tip income earned by servers is $23.22 per hour." don't think you're actually WORTH that. That's the wrong conclusion to draw stop drawing that conclusion guards seize them.... where was I?
Anyway, don't take my word for it, see right here:
https://open.alberta.ca/dataset/279d997f-f573-4e47-bea4-daffbc87af9f/resource/1bfa9f7a-b0f1-4e79-94a6-18d37009f8c2/download/jend-report-of-minimum-wage-expert-panel.pdf