West Butte Alberta
Business in the 'Butte:
The Duck And Fork Pub (aka "The Duck): Run by Rudy, a local slacker who dreams to turn it into a Kweezeen Destination. Terrible club sandwiches, but pretty good beer. Beer selection keeps dropping as we alienate more brewers, but whatcha gonna do?
Khalid's Water Hauling: Khalid's our local ethnic minority. Still trying to figure out what makes him so... different... he smokes and drinks like the rest of us. But we're Watching Him....
Liquor Shanty: Hangnail George's liquor-emporium, site of the smashing and stealing and drinking (though not in that order) of all the BC wine in protest of their pipeline obstruction.
Education:
West Butte Elementary: An excellent school, where children learn the value of hydrocarbons by helping out at the gusher in Classroom B23
Auguste Flamme High School: Students there volunteer to scour the internet for porn, to report it to adults. When Ol' Vic played football there, my nickname was "Close Enough" McConought
Triangle Shirtwaist Private Vocational School: Fine school, where children lovingly play with sewing machines to make our campaign hats.
Religious Life
Anglican Cathedral: Burnished by our tradition of burning coal for everything.
West Butte Catholic Church: Butteocentric. Opposes the teaching of horrifying topics such as homosexuality, gender fluidity, and consent, to children.
Banned Films: To protect our children, the following films cannot be shown, viewed, gif-ed, referenced or quoted in West Butte:
Maze Runner
5th Wave
Hunger Games
Divergent
Ender's Game
Moana
The Wild Butte Life
Buttapalooza: Our annual Music Festival and All-Purpose Cultural Event! Headlining this year are:
Devil's Doorbell
Tractor-Cab Rattlesnake
Finnegan of War
Grän Augyr
Haulin' Oats
KD Lang
Sebastian's Cake Pan Imbroglio
Spider Aspic
Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus
Hot Scotch Toddy
Forestry Funk Road
Duotangs of Diversity
Vegan Cat
Cheese Mule
The West Butte Beach: Funded by Canada150, this is the best completely dry clothing optional beach in the country.
Fort DeadBogTrotter: It's not racist, if it's historical. Why do you hippies hate our history?
Dentist Refugee Camp: Opened after AHS ripped every dime from our already penniless dentists and forced them to lower their fees to "almost" "zero".
Kudatah Memorial Day: This greatest of observances is a requirement for all citizens. Starts at the Senotaf, then ends with the Washing of the Truck.
